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Home / Opinion / Sanity, relativity, pets and exes – but no squirrels

Sanity, relativity, pets and exes – but no squirrels

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This ’n’ That by Nicky De Lange

Good news! It’s that time again. You know what I’m referring to – funny T-shirt sayings.
I honestly believe some of the most profound philosophical thoughts can be found on simple, everyday shirts. If I were writing a book on the topic, that’s where I’d do the majority of my research.
For example, consider this deep thought: “In my defense, I was left unsupervised”. Is that not the best excuse ever for those times when you’ve done something really bizarre? There’s also: “I’m not much on seizing the day – I just kinda poke at it with a stick”.
Another deep thought regarding time that really appeals to me is this dictionary definition: “Tomorrow/te’maro/n: A mythical land where I get all my stuff done”. Does that resonate with you? It sure does with me.
Also concerning time was this treasure I found in the same T-shirt catalog: “It’s been ‘ONE of those days’ for like three years now”! That is the best way to sum up the theory of relativity as it concerns time that I’ve ever read!
Another popular subject on T-shirts is sanity – or the lack of it. For example, there’s: “My alone time is sometimes for YOUR safety”. There’s a great message in there somewhere. Or how about: “My level of maturity changes depending on who I’m with”. Great way to put the blame for whatever idiotic thing you’ve done on someone else!
If you want to proudly let others know your sanity is a little on the shaky side, wear the T-shirt that asks: “I wonder what NORMAL PEOPLE think about”.
Here’s my favorite explanation for seeming just a little wacky to others: “Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a galaxy far, far away.”
Without a doubt, one of the most popular T-shirt categories is pets. One of the funniest ones I’ve seen has dog hair drawn all over the shirt front. Against this background is the simple message: “Dog hair. Don’t care.” I hope they have this one in a cat version.
There’s another that reads: “Love is how excited your dog gets when you come home”. I bet that doesn’t come in a cat version!
But the one that – at least in my humble opinion – sums up the relationship between dogs and humans the best says: “When I die, the dog gets everything”!
The last category today is a new one – people’s exes. Not all marriages have happy endings, judging by two new T-shirts I found recently. The first shirt gives you a warning that things can get rocky sometimes: “If you’re happy and you know it, thank your ex”!
Now that you have a clue, brace yourself for the next one. Ready?
“All I’m saying is I’ve never seen my ex and Satan in the same room”!
This is a good place to quit. I’m happily married and plan to stay that way. Although, when I die, the cats really do get everything!

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