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Say It With A Shirt


This “N That by Nicky De Lange

It’s time once again to check out funny t-shirts. You know the ones – the kind that express how you really feel better than you can say it yourself. Today’s shirts are in the latest issue of my favorite catalog and all of them spoke to me. In other words, they made me laugh.

For example, there’s one that says “Pilates? I Thought You Said Pie And Lattes!” A clear case of wishful thinking but a much better idea.

Of course I really loved this next one. It proudly proclaims “Family Drama . . . The Gift That Keeps On Giving.” There’s a lot of truth in that one.

For dog lovers, I have three new shirts to suggest. First there is “Sometimes I Meet People And I Feel Bad For Their Dog.” Another states unequivocally “Don’t Judge My Dog & I Won’t Judge Your Children.” That’s pretty plain speaking. Last but probably my favorite is “When I Die The Dog Gets Everything!” Of course it does; dogs are all about unconditional love. They deserve this.

If you are the parent of a teenager or a toddler or are a serious Star Wars fan, you might prefer the shirt that says “Physically I’m Here, Mentally I’m In A Galaxy Far Far Away.”

Another good sentiment for the stressed out is the tee that states plainly that “I TRIED Being Nice To People But I Didn’t Enjoy It.” Who hasn’t felt like that at least a few times???

And the perfect shirt for when you have reached the absolute limit of your patience: “Some Days The Supply Of Curse Words Is Insufficient To Meet My Demands.”

I’m sure the next two shirts were designed for women. Read them and see if you agree. One shirt says “Life Is Too Short To Waste Time Matching Socks.” Amen to that.

Or consider this – one of my favorites – “Wine Is To Women As Duct Tape Is To Men. It Fixes Everything!”  And for those of us who are a tad burned out on having so many responsibilities, there’s “Tomorrow: A Mystical Land Where I Get All My Stuff Done.” Now that’s a t-shirt I could wear with pride.

This next one struck me as hilarious after I thought about it a couple of seconds. I just hope I don’t ever buy the shirt or give its message to anyone when I have a really not-quite-sane day. Just read it and think about it: “When Someone Tells Me I Look Familiar, I Tell Them I Do Porn.”

And, finally, here’s the one that truly expresses my thought: “I Can’t Believe How Old People My Age Are.”

True story: Several years ago my husband and I went to his 40th high school reunion. I didn’t know any of his classmates, and when we walked into the welcome party and I saw so much gray hair, I honestly thought to myself, “How sweet! Some of them brought their parents with them.”

Turned out those senior citizens were just a year older than I was. Oops! (Must not let myself buy the shirt mentioned above. Just because I think I’m 35 doesn’t mean I really am.) ?

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