Editor’s Note: Frances Wingate Durisseau, the longtime writer of Inspirations, passed away on Tuesday.
For the final edition of Inspirations, Kasey Morales, the oldest child of Frances, expresses her love of her mother along with what writing the column meant to her.
You are always and forever an Inspiration to us, Frances.
We all want to be admired and respected for what we do in life. It is a blessing to us when we are recognized for what we do. But the most wonderful recognition and the greatest blessing is to be noticed for being a person with a loving heart.
I truly aspire to be a person who sees what lies behind smiles, actions, behavior, and circumstance. It’s something that must be practiced and matured in life, and I certainly do not do it correctly all the time.
Frances Wingate Durisseau
I know that many of you have read our mother’s column for many years and have grown to know and love her as a different kind of family. As I have re-read her column, I have seen her share many things that are so wise and many that she shared mainly here, and I am honored to have you reading this in her memory. Rather than try to even attempt to fill mom’s shoes, (she would laugh at this as my feet are a size 10 and hers a 6) I have looked to the words of wisdom that she has left here over the years, the beauty she has left in my heart and the woman who made me the woman that I am today.
This was my mother at her core: someone who loved her husband, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren with the fiercest love of the lioness, fearing of danger to her cub. This love radiated to her extended family both in her hometown of Devine and her chosen home of Galveston. Mom was someone who saw the best in us all even at our worst and held out her hand as we worked through it. She was a ray of light and full of energy and laughter, and she always reminded us that we could be more than the sum of our mistakes. Even in the worst of her illness, she would get up or let us in her room to cuddle and watch movies. I have precious memories of doing this with her and watching Grease and The Jerk. My younger siblings remember Pearl Harbor, but no matter what, we always treasured those special moments with mom. Other flashes of learning included the secret to mashed potatoes and how to keep your feet soft. There are so many other things that I could say, but you know her so well just from her Inspirations.
As we all move through these difficult days ahead without her, I want to look again to her own words so that they can guide us and give us peace.
What was once normal for me, no longer fits. I’m sure that many of you can relate to what I’m talking about, even without losing a loved one.
What exactly is ‘normal’ anyway, and when we find something that seems to be normal, is that really normal or just something that is comfortable and routine?
This I do know, and that is I’ve lost all concept of what was normal or routine in my life. The only thing that seems to be normal are the settings on my washer and dryer.
In all the other areas of my life, I’m having to learn a ‘new normal’. I don’t think I’m getting very far with that, although working on it keeps me busy, so that may be a good thing on one hand. On the other hand, I seem to find myself starting various things, but not actually finishing very many! But I intend to continue in my quest to find my ‘new normal’. And when I feel like it’s too far out of my grasp, I grab my laundry basket, make a mad dash to my washer/dryer, look for those comforting words written on my machine that say ‘Normal’, and do my laundry, taking comfort in the fact that for a few moments, things are ‘Normal’ in my world once again.
Frances Wingate Durisseau
I know that my mother is with us all still in our hearts, and I truly believe that love transcends all bounds no matter what plane they may cross. As I write this, I feel her spirit guiding my fingers, and even little quips such as, “Add some levity”, “Remember how strong you are”, “It’s never hopeless”, and “I love you.” I now have a taste of how she has felt since the passing of her husband Michael, the former editor and photographer here at the newspaper. As I re-read columns looking for inspiration or the proper words to say, I found this, and it made me see her path to recovery and just how deep the pain was. But as always, Momma said it best:
I’ve also learned that you have more strength than you ever knew you had and, as you have need of it, that strength will show itself. I’ve learned that you can get through dark times in your life as long as you remember to keep looking forward in faith for the better ones that you know are in the distance, somewhere.
I am still growing through this grief stage of my life, but I’ve made good progress. I feel Michael’s presence with me all the time and I believe that he would be proud of me. That is truly important to me.
You are and will be forever loved and missed, Michael. As long as I live, I will do all that I can to keep your memory alive and show you the honor you deserve.
RIP Michael Durisseau, July 17, 1961 – January 17, 2015
Frances Wingate Durisseau
Mom would tell us all to get back up and keep trying, know that what you are facing is not hopeless. Find someone you trust and talk about what you are dealing with and don’t ever give up.
Thank you all for being so faithful and loyal and please know that you meant the world to her. One love Mom, I can picture you and Michael riding off into the sunset in Greased Lightning………
