By Dorothy Meindok
The Post Newspaper Veterans Consultant
I had another story for this week’s column when suddenly I learned of a veteran brother’s death on Thursday night. His name was Chuck. He joined our Transitions Plus wellness group that meets in League City on Thursdays and had been joining us for a while. He was quiet and I didn’t find that unusual given that he lived as a homeless man. He did live on a boat, but it was no yacht and he didn’t have the usual comforts of home in Texas that most of us take for granted like air conditioning and the such. Yet, Chuck was a trooper and revealed to me in conversations he gave me permission to write about outside of our group regarding his choice to be homeless as it was an essential decision to his definition of freedom. Admittedly, I didn’t and still don’t fully understand, but it isn’t my jurisdiction to understand.
However, as he pointed out, it is within my jurisdiction to listen and accept his life’s decisions offering help when he asked for it, which was seldom. He was looking for life’s joy before death (his words not mine), he was tired of the fighting and turmoil he had lived trying to manage his service wounds and the fallout thereafter in his personal life and simply found a spot to call his own, determined to make the best of it without feeling beholden to anything or anyone. His conversations solidified a lesson I had been in the midst of learning with age as respects to autonomy and freewill. He had electric blue eyes and when he did speak, it was with in depth, thoughtful and profound wisdom, something easily missed if you prejudged him off of appearances alone.
He was a valued and bright addition to our veterans’ group and he will be missed. As time moved forward, you could see the changes in his demeanor as he realized he was amongst a group of brothers and sisters that weren’t there to judge him, but to just listen and support and offer resources of help. He received the help he requested and even ended up adopting a floppy-haired support rabbit to keep him company. He visited us with smiles and funny tales of their shared interactions and adventures.
When the Vietnam Veterans of America #685, Operation Honor and this Galveston County community brought the Vietnam War Memorial Wall replica to Mainland City Centre over the July 4 holiday week, a Vietnam Veteran brother and past VA Chaplain Corps member facilitated a way for Chuck to get to visit. When he showed up, I was thrilled to see him there and amidst hugs of welcome, our tearful eyes met right there before the warrior wall. No more words were needed. We made sure his ride home included a good lunch befitting such a healing outing.
It was the last time I saw Chuck and while I wish he were still here with us, I am glad to have our last moments consist of healing and honor rather than tragedy and angry tears of which he was certainly justified in shedding.
The healing tears are just so much more worth crying if one must cry at all. I cannot say that I know he died happy, but I can rest knowing that he died happier and knowing he was loved, heard, valued and not alone.
This article is for my veteran brother, in his honor and remembrance from me and all of our group that were lucky enough to have met, embraced and learned from such a strong warrior amongst our ranks.
Thank you for sharing this memory with me. Be blessed.
Dorothy Meindok, USN Veteran
Dorothy Meindok is the Veterans Consultant for The Post Newspaper. She served in the United States Navy and is currently a lawyer advocating for the rights of our nation’s veterans.
