The day after Christmas in 2005 I became ill. Very ill!!! In fact, I couldn’t eat but a spoonful of soup here and there for two weeks, or drink more than a few sips of water at a time. I can’t really describe any exact symptoms, other than I just felt really bad, and stayed in bed most of the time.
My doctor could find no medical reason for this illness.
So during the course of those two weeks I ended up at three different emergency rooms trying to find a solution, and the last one found me severely dehydrated, and after many test the diagnosis was MS.
Now at the time, I was a born again Christian. I had a “head on” collision with our Lord Jesus Christ in 1996. For several months I was walking on air, totally caught up in God’s amazing love and grace, at least as much as He knew I could take in this physical body.
I fell in love with “LOVE” and for nearly three years I pursued this relationship. Eventually, though I was drawn away from my “first Love” for several reasons, but mainly my foundation was built on feelings, rather than TRUTH from the word of God, and when the feelings subsided, (and they always do, God does not want us to live on goosebumps), I started listening to what the church leaders told us, that good old time religion. And why not … it was good enough for my parents, grandparents and so on. Besides these (well meaning) people had degrees in theology, and spent years in seminaries. They prayed and studied the Bible a lot more than I did at the time, and therefore must have a much deeper relationship/knowledge of God.
They preached “saved by grace” but after that you had to confess your sins daily before the Lord, and ask for forgiveness and mercy. There was no power working within this group of Believers either. Everything was going to happen someday in heaven. I am not trying to sound harsh, and please choose not to be offended, because I praise God for our Churches, but “faith comes by hearing,” and I was not hearing the full Gospel message.
Not truly understanding who I was in Christ Jesus, I began to give in to the “doctrines of men which make the word of God of none effect,” feeling unworthy I gave up after awhile, and ALLOWED myself to be drawn away. (The “accuser of the brethren is not stupid- Satan been doing this for quite awhile. He knows just how to twist the word of God to sound like truth. Thus twisting the image of God.)
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Over the next six years I became spiritually dull as my spirit was literally being starved.
This brings us up to the illness. In the hospital they pumped me with fluids for 3 days, and sent me home. I felt much better physically, but with the label of MS hanging over me, I was deeply depressed. I got on my knees once again to the Lord, and cried out for help. I had already received Jesus as my Savior, but that night I made another heart decision, that He is now LORD over my life.
I gave my life entirely over to Him, and I remember saying “whatever it takes, I will put You first in my life, Lord from this moment forward I will change my thoughts and actions to line up with Your word” I felt the arms of Jesus encircle me and His peace washed over me all over again. Perfect love!!!! (What I realize now of course is that “He had never left me, nor forsaken me” in the first place. In truth, He remains as close as our breath.)
But right away, the Devil started telling me that God might still love me because He has to, but I was going to have suffer this sickness. I remember thinking that these thoughts were coming from God, because I was never taught that the enemy challenges us thru our thoughts/suggestions, and will work though people to try to keep us ignorant of God’s promises.
What we speak and what we allow to be spoken to us are extremely important. THIS IS MAJOR!
At the time, I did not understand why and how to put on my armor. (Eph. chapter 6) or how to “take my thoughts captive,” or how, “life and death are in the power of our tongue,” or that the “devil comes only to steal, kill and destroy,” or that he “roams around like a roaring lion seeking whom he MAY devour.” (Please see the scripture references at the bottom.)
I had decided that if God had stricken me, or allowed this sickness to come upon me, then I would praise Him the whole time, and trust Him that He would either heal me when He was ready, or not. Either way I would bring Him glory, and give Him honor as my testimony to His goodness. Now THAT is twisted thinking- to believe that our loving Father would wish to do us harm after sending down His most precious possession, Jesus, to die for us.
Even His chastenings do not cross over to physical punishments. “If God is for us, then who can be against us.”
You know, we throw people in jail for harming others. Child abusers get many years in prison for less than what we accuse God of doing. Massive earthquakes that kill thousands and thousands of people. Rape, murder. Every vile thing has been attributed to “acts of God.”
HIV positive people who knowlingly infect their partners have been convicted of murder and attempted murder. Yet this widely accepted doctrine in the Body of Christ today is blaming God for all the rotten things that happen to us when the truth is that we have an enemy, and that enemy is not God, and God is not in agreement/partnership with evil! (James 1:12-19). Truth is, we can do some pretty stupid things on our own to cause harm to ourselves and others, with out any help from the Devil.
Now in the past if anyone would have approached me with what I just declared, I would have brought up the Sovernty of God argument (discussion) in the past.
And I do agree that God is our Creator, He is the maker of the Heavens and the Earth and I worship Him as the only true living God. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, all three separate and all three One. God is Sovereign, yet in His sovereignty He has chosen to give us a wonderful gift … free will to choose, death and life, blessing and cursing.
And He is God the Father, NOT THE GODFATHER! In this time of grace, He is not extracting vengeance, or wrath on us, or striking people with diseases, hurricanes, hardships, or any other calamity.
How do I know? Because He poured out His wrath on His own Son. Read Isaiah Chapters 50-54- Jesus became a curse for us so that we can experience “God’s will being done on earth, as it is in Heaven.”
But many well meaning church doctrines have turned everything around. Satan has infiltrated the camp and struck the body of Christ a piercing blow by watering down the message of the Cross and denying the Power of the Holy Spirit working in us and through us today. ( In the last days “good will be considered evil and evil considered good.”)
How easy is it now for the enemy to “steal, kill and destroy” when we think it is coming from or “allowed” by God and we just lie down and let the blows strike where they may fall and say “if it’s God’s will then so be it- we will allow it.”
We must read our Bibles!!! And use common sense!! I nearly gave in. I would have suffered through any thing if I thought it would have brought God glory, or taught me a lesson. (And yes, we can learn by hard knocks, but it’s much better to learn the truth andtake Him at His word.) I thought I would be just physically/mentally helpless until I got to heaven some day. Then I would be healed.
But shortly after I “renewed my vows” with my first Love, I was walking past the TV and heard a Texas twang speak these words … “You know God wants you well.” …. I stopped in my tracks. “What?????”
I listened (skeptic at first- I didn’t/don’t trust all of the TV preachers), but this man did not preach, he taught from the word of God- not just someone else’s theory or opinion. At first my mind was realing because the way this person was presenting God’s word it totally went against what I was brought up believing. It all seemed backwards to what they were teaching about who God is. But the Holy Spirit within me was jumping up and down saying “YES! THIS IS TRUTH!!” “GO TO THE WORD OF GOD AND READ FOR YOURSELF.”
One of the first scriptures I was lead to was in Matthew 7: 7-11, 10:8, 10:24 and 17:20. Then Luke 10:18,19,20. 1 Peter 2:24 and 5: 8-9. Proverbs 18:21. James 1: 16-17, 3: 14-16, 4:7, 5: 13-16. Romans 10:17 and Gal. 5:6. John 10:10 …. AND SO MANY MORE.
Praise Jesus a whole different image of our most loving Heavenly Father began to become evident to me through His written word and I fell in love, with Love, all over again. This time I KNEW Him, not just my God. He became “Abba, Father.” DADDY!!
Now, I guess you are wondering about “Pauls thorn in the flesh,” please do a study on this. I did. And found that to say one “has a thorn in the flesh” in that day was like saying someone is a “pain in the neck” to us today. It was a figure of speech. We don’t mean we literally have a pain in the neck.
Paul’s thorn WAS a messenger of Satan. Paul was being persucuted everywhere he went- someone who was inciting the crowds against him. Jesus never said that we would not suffer persucution. That is different than tribulations.
Jesus went “about doing good and healing all who were sick and oppressed of the devil” , “the devil comes only to steal, kill and destroy.” Paul was stoned and left for dead then walked many miles the next day to the next town. I don’t know about you but in my wild days I couldn’t have walked to the living room with some of the hangovers I experiencd. And that is not the same “stoned” that Paul experienced.
The only persons Jesus could not, (the Bible never says would not), but could not heal were those who were in unbelief. The same is true today, Jesus is working through us (His discipless, joint heirs, James Chapter 5) to heal a sick world.
The man I mentioned earlier who helped changed my life, and lead me to expereince the Lord on a much deeper relationship, is named Andrew Wommack. www.awmi.net
 | Home – Andrew Wommack MinistriesFind the Gospel truth on healing, blessings, and prosperity. View daily teaching videos, visit the healing center, listen to audio teachings.www.awmi.net |
You can download his material for FREE. Please pray about it, and I encourage you to check out one of his teachings called simply “God Wants You Well,” then “Spirit, Soul and Body.”
And I attend church, I thank God for church!! But in the area of discipleship, I have learned more about God in the past few years, then I did in all the years I grew up in the Church, thanks to ministers like Andrew who teach/preach the Gospel (the almost too good to be true news) of God’s unconditional love and grace.
I have experienced complete healing throughout my Spirit, Soul and Body. I have seen many persons receive God’s healing, and I am a living testimony as well.
There is so much more I could share here about our words we speak, how the Kingdom of God operates- what is our responsibility, and what has been provided to us through our born again Spirits in the atonement of Christ Jesus. We have authority over sickness, poverty, depression etc. etc.
It is time we fight to take back what the enemy has stolen from us. We must realize what it means to be “heirs” of the Creator of the Universe and just who our Daddy is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will leave you with this one thought …. we are not the sick trying to get well, we are the well fighting for our right to walk in good health. Praise and Glory to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ forever!
Contact Brenda Groves at: bkgroves1996@yahoo.com
