By Ruth Ann Ruiz
The Post Newspaper Features Editor
At some time after birth, everyone must transition from living into death. Death is an inevitable part of life. Though we can’t escape death, most humans push thoughts of death and dying out of their minds. But for some, death and dying are part of their daily lives.
The team of people working for Better Care Matters Hospice Care (BCMHC) have dedicated their careers to serving individuals and their families as they make the transition from life to death.
“I always wanted to be a hospice nurse, but I didn’t have enough nerve,” said Lita Wallace, who works as the admitting nurse for BCMHC.
Understanding the wishes and needs of families of dying patients and gaining the courage to take on hospice nursing came to her after her own mother passed.
Wallace describes her commitment to her patients as she remembers her own mother’s passing. “It makes me feel good knowing my patient is not alone. This is what I wanted for my mother,” said Wallace.
Giving a dying person a sense of being loved and not alone is how Wallace and the team approach their care. They do this by providing 24/7 bedside care for each person once there are physical markers that the patient is transitioning within a matter of days or hours.
“I sit with them and hold their hand and talk to them. I tell them they are not alone and that they are loved,” said Wallace. “I tell their family to talk to them and touch them. A dying person can still hear very well.”
While I listen and watch Wallace, her eyes fill with tears as she speaks of the people she has sat with. She lets herself wander to thoughts of her eventual death, hoping she will not be alone.
With her tender gestures and calm voice, it seems Wallace is able to make sure the patients she sits with know that someone cares about them, someone loves them as their spirit leaves their body.
Annette Dorflinger serves as the director of nursing at BCMHC, and she remembers the first time she attended to a patient who died in her care as a turning point in her nursing career.
“I was living in Palestine, Texas, working as a nurse at the hospital, and after I worked in the hospice unit, I just felt this is something I can do,” said Dorflinger.
“There is so much meaning to this job, and you really learn not to take anything, especially life, for granted,” said Dorflinger.
She too has held the hands of people in their last moments, and though it is not an easy task, she finds the hardest part of being in hospice care is when they need to place a call to family members alerting them to the passing of their loved one.
The ladies take turns explaining to me one patient who wanted a chocolate milkshake and another who wanted a strawberry milkshake shortly before their deaths. Simple requests such as milkshakes are honored by the team, and each patient had their request fulfilled.
Both ladies give love and acceptance to their patients, but they both feel that they get love back as the patients squeeze their hands during their last days.
Sitting at the bedside of a dying patient is not a service that all hospice care offers, but the team at BCMHC feels it is a humane and necessary component of comprehensive hospice services. With each of their patients, they provide someone to sit with the dying person. Their services are available in Galveston County and surrounding areas.
Selecting hospice care for oneself or for a loved one is not an easy decision. The patient may have been suddenly brought to bad health through illness or an accident or possibly a long-term battle with an illness. Regardless of the nature of the terminal condition, it is an emotionally complex process.
Trained social workers and hospice intake staff are prepared to help guide individuals through the somber process of selecting hospice care.
Just as each person’s life is unique and has unique personality and physical traits alongside universal characteristics, each person’s death is unique with universal characteristics, and finding care and comfort during the end stages and through loss is an essential component of living a full and dignified life.
Hospice care is an option for a person when a doctor has certified the person has a terminal illness that will most likely lead to death within six months. Not all patients who select hospice care die during the six-month time frame.
The focus of hospice care is to provide comfort to a terminally ill person. BCMHC provides services to patients in their homes, not at a hospice center. Some people select a hospice center for their needs.
Selecting hospice care means a patient will no longer receive curative treatment for their illness but will receive comprehensive comfort care. This includes pain medicine and anti-anxiety medication to manage discomfort, as well as spiritual and emotional support through chaplain services for both patients and family members. Physical therapy, oxygen, food, and water continue to be provided based on the patient’s needs and preferences. The staff of BCMHC noted that many times in the last few days, a hospice patient will stop eating and drinking of their own choice.
Texas Health and Human Services provides comprehensive information covering hospice care at: https://www.hhs.texas.gov/services/health/supportive-palliative-care/hospice-care
You can find more information about Better Care Matters Hospice Care at https://www.bettercarematters.com.
