Editor’s Note: The following story, which was originally published in the November 10, 2019 edition of The Post Newspaper, is featured again as a reminder of the challenges our heroic veterans face upon returning from active duty. We are thankful for the willingness and sacrifices our veterans have made to preserve our freedom, a gift we shall not take lightly.
By Brandon C. Williams
Editor, The Post Newspaper
EACH DAY, 22 veterans take their own lives. For most, the prospect of living with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) from time served in combat environments becomes too much to cope with.
Sgt. Conrad DeGrace Jr. would have joined the heartbreaking list, but a combination of his faith and an understanding companion dog helped carry him from the brink. His story is told in the book The Soldier and the Bear, written by Patricia DeGrace, his wife of eight years.
“The inspiration (for writing the book) came from seeing how my husband has progressed from having Bear and our faith and being around all these other soldiers that are hurting,” said Patricia DeGrace.
“There are a lot of soldiers going through things, so this is just one story,” she added. “I just wanted to share hope because there are so many veterans who don’t see a way out and think it can’t get any better, but it can.”
DeGrace writes about the challenges she faced when her husband returned from serving in Iraq. Affectionately nicknamed “Sarge,” DeGrace was assigned to a security force whose main job was to scout for IEDs (improvised explosive devices) and other explosives. The initial signs of PTSD came in a scene where DeGrace saw what he described as a “streaming video” of the sights of horror he endured during his deployment.
Upon his return stateside in 2010, DeGrace’s PTSD continued to take a toll on the once-energetic, purpose-driven man who earned an MBA from American University. For his wife, the challenge of attempting to understand the man she loved had only begun.
“The biggest challenge for me was not understanding the difference between PTSD and what wasn’t,” she said. “How could I help if I don’t know how to help?
“Our faith is firm because we are faith-based people, but it was still very hard because you have faith and you trust God, but you’re still dealing with very physical and mental anguish situations. It was about coming to a place to realize that I couldn’t fix it.”
For Sarge, who had also sustained shoulder and back injuries during his deployment, coming home to adjust to civilian life felt like an unwinnable battle.
“I wasn’t ready to end my military career,” he said. “That was challenging.”
“He would always say, ‘I want to go back,” she added. “If they had a choice — even those who are injured — you consistently hear them say ‘I’d go back in a minute.’”
Sarge found himself sitting on the couch with shades drawn, lights out and constantly sleeping. With a sense of emptiness and lack of hope, the feeling of a spiraling life permeated his existence.
Enter Bear.
Like Sarge, Bear was broken. The long-haired golden retriever had bounced from foster home to foster home and was suffering from heart worms and a rash that took away from his inner beauty. Despite the love from the rescue staff, Bear was labeled as a problem dog whose chances of finding his purpose and someone to love him came on the afternoon of February 10, 2010.
Senior, Sarge’s father, took his son to the Houston SPCA Animal Shelter with the purpose of finding a companion for Sarge. Having recently lost his longtime sidekick, Max, Senior knew the potential value of finding a dog that could help save his son.
Almost instantly, Sarge and Bear bonded in a moment that left everyone in the room transfixed by the sudden connection.
“My father just looked at him and said, ‘that’s the one,’” Sarge said.
Bear’s presence stoked a change in Sarge. His faith began to be restored and was anchored during a dinner with pastor Franklin Graham. During the conversation, Graham whispered words in Sarge’s ear that have become part of his foundation.
“He said, ‘Son, why would you want to cheat God like that?’” Sarge said.
The road has not been easy, but the DeGraces and Bear have found a purpose and meaning they have shared with other veterans across the country. They are active in the Wounded Warrior Project along with Operation Heal Our Patriots and Operation Restored Warrior, each contributing to the health and well-being of veterans.
Bear was the best man for Sarge when he and Patricia were married on the beach in Galveston, a fitting role for the one source that gave Sarge an added reason to live.
What lies next for the trio?
“I believe that it’s continuing to minister to one veteran and one spouse at a time,” she said. “We know we have to continue to serve, and I think that’s truly our lifesaver.”
With Monday marking Veteran’s Day, the DeGraces will be out continuing their purpose. Ultimately, they seek to reduce the number 22. One veteran, one spouse at a time.
The Soldier and the Bear can be purchased on Amazon.com. As of Friday, only two copies were in stock but more are expected to be in stock early next week.
Links for Veterans
*Operation Heal Our Patriots: www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/about-operation-heal-our-patriots
*Operation Restored Warrior: www.operationrestoredwarrior.org/
*Mighty Oaks: www.mightyoaksprograms.org
Links for Non-Veterans:
Non-Combat PTSD: www.facesofptsd.com/non-combat-ptsd
PTSD: Symptoms and Causes:
www.health.usnews.com/conditions/ptsd
PTSD in Women: www.psycom.net/PTSD-symptoms-women
PTSD in Children: www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2013/10/25/4-treatment-options-for-children-with-post-traumatic-stress-disorder.
