I was thinking the other day about how wonderful it is to have friends. Last week I went to lunch with my best friend, and we always have a great time sharing our thoughts about life. Most of us have acquaintances, but we can usually count on one hand those who are trustworthy and loyal. These special friends are always ready to celebrate our victories and console us when we are going through a difficult time. The bottom line: we can trust them with everything, and we know that if anything serious were to happen, they would be by our side all the way to the end. In this day and age of electronic relationships, it’s refreshing to have those we can confide in and be transparent with. We were not created to be an independent island to ourselves, and are grateful for our spouse, but we also have a need for social interaction as we learn how to love, trust, listen, and respect others.
An old Irish Proverb says, “A trusted friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.” Friendship is all about sincerely caring for another person without any ulterior motives. We realize that within our social network, many are not really deeply connected with us, and that is alright. We accept that we will not be best friends with everyone, and no doubt, these casual friends also feel the same way about us. Have you ever been talking with someone and as they ask how you are, they instantly move on to another subject before you hardly have a chance to answer? I believe a true friend is someone who really cares about what’s going on with us. They laugh when we laugh and cry when we cry. Donna Roberts is quoted as saying, “A true friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.”
The story of Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane just before he was to be crucified allows us to see a brief moment of His human side and how He really wanted the spiritual and emotional support of His friends as He was facing death. Since Christ experienced so many things in his life, we can know that he understands loneliness and the value of having someone walk with us in our journey. As the story is told in all four gospels, he asked three of his close friends to accompany him to a quiet place called the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. When they arrived, he asked them to stay awake and pray, as he was going a little further down the path to pour out his heart to the Father. As He walked away, it’s clear that He felt an overwhelming sadness and anguish as his words are recorded in Matthew 26:38, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with Me.”
The very next verse is significant to his devotion to God and his determination to fulfill his mission as the sacrifice to save and forgive those who believe. “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me: nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.” After a while of interceding in agony, he returns to hopefully receive some positive encouragement, but instead finds them asleep. This happens on three separate occasions, and the last time he stands over them and, with compassion, says, “Sleep on now and take your rest. Behold, the hour is now at hand, and the son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.” Yes, they were not alert when he needed them, but just because they could not keep their eyes open does not mean they did not love him. (I would say we would have done the same thing). The point is that we all want our closest friends around us when we are walking through our experiences, whatever they are.
I’ve always heard there comes a time in our lives when we realize who actually matters, and who never did, and that good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. The wonders of friendship are not the outstretched hand or the kindly smile; it’s the spiritual inspiration when two people mutually discover they enjoy spending time together. When we are in the hospital or in the nursing home, and our family and friends are holding our hands, we realize that these were our greatest blessings.
Dr. Holland is an ordained minister, chaplain, teacher, and author. Read more about the Christian life at billyhollandministries.com.
