- By Brenda Groves
- The Post Newspaper Contributing Writer
There were many advantages to growing up in the country and some
good memories were made such as the backyard camp-outs around a nice “cozy” fire.
Now “dad’s” idea of a camp fire could land a small plane in the dense fog. I remember him cutting down trees on our land to make the bonfires. He would cut the tree up with an electric saw, then split the individual cords of wood with his axe.
I also recall how he first tapped a wedge into place in the middle
creating an opening, then using the axe he began swinging to increase a
larger split until finally the cord would completely break apart.
Sometimes the wood would be green and much harder to penetrate. My father worked up quite a sweat trying to split green wood. He would have to back off and take short breaks to catch his breath and try again.
Other times the wood would be so dry and brittle that with little effort dad
could split it. I’ve even seen wood break apart with only one tap of the
wedge and maybe a short axe swing.
I had been thinking about this the other day when it occurred to me how the power of our words can work in similar ways. They are a very effective tool for good or bad. Many marriages are destroyed over time by
hurtful words.
At first, like a small wedge, they are driven into hearts. Criticisms
that become a root of bitterness. It can be the dumbest, smallest things.
For instance, I really like to cook, and I’ve been told that I am a fairly
good cook. My husband has gotten used to it anyway. (lol)
But for some reason I could never make something as simple as pancakes to his liking. He even tried to show me what I was doing wrong when I asked him to. I really wanted to make fresh delicious pancakes the way he likes them.
Well, after a while my hubby started making small negative remarks about them in a joking manner. And over a period of time I chose to start taking offense at those remarks.
Defending myself in my thoughts at first.
You know how it goes.
“Well, thanks a lot. I could have just handed him a bowl of fruit loops.
Here I am trying to do something nice for the man.” (That thought was a seed planted by our enemy.)
That’s when the parade of thoughts would come marching by! A past reprisal of all the nice things I did/do for him.
And as I nurtured this hurt feeling, the wood (my heart) was becoming dry.
So, I became defensive by pointing out certain things that
he did wrong to make myself feel better where I felt I was failing or insecure.
Well now a wedge was placed in his heart also.
After a period of time, couples can begin voicing other criticisms (cords of wood) and eventually there are some pretty deep cuts in both hearts and the
wood becomes so brittle that even though you can still remain living in the same home, a definite split has already occurred in the relationship.
But wouldn’t you know. Our Lord Jesus Christ is a skilled carpenter and with
the cooperation of just one willing heart to begin with, He can craft
a marriage into a whole new image. A reflection of His agape (unconditional)
love.
It is my testimony that by seeking and putting God first in my life the Lord
Jesus Christ is re-teaching me how to speak the truth of God’s word over our
marriage. This, also accompanied by positive actions, is re-producing green wood again.
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [do not offend or vex or sadden Him], by Whom you were sealed (marked, branded as God’s own, secured) for the day of redemption (of final deliverance through Christ from evil and the consequences of sin).Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only
such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as
is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give
grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it. And become useful and helpful and kind
to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted),
forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God IN Christ forgave you. Let
all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and
resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and
slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you,
with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).”
Husbands and wives, you are not sleeping with the enemy! That is who Satan
wants us to hate, each other! And he’s using our minds as the battle grounds and
our words as the weapon. A wedge.
“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give
place to the devil.”
This doesn’t mean it is okay with God if we get angry in the day time, but just get rid of it before we go to bed at night. (Because the word also says, “the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”) There is a Godly anger- but is not to be used against people.
We are to never let the “sun go down” on our wrath at what the devil is doing to try to destroy our marriages and families. Come together and fight against Satan.
Remember, green wood is harder to split apart.
I pray that the truth of God’s word, proving His love, grace and mercy through our Lord Jesus Christ is poured out in every person’s heart, and over their marriage who is reading this column right now, and the power of His Holy Spirit hover over each household. Restoring or establishing order as free wills are bending and yielding to the love of God.
“Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Ecc. 4:12-13
We are still a work in progress but with God all things are possible to him or
her who believes.
Now, every so often my hubby will offer to cook breakfast for us. And wouldn’t you know, he makes the BEST PANCAKES EVER!!!
(Eph. 4:26, 29-32, 5:3-4 Amplified Bible and NKJV)
Contact Brenda Groves at: bkgroves1996@yahoo.com
