I’M TIRED.

Last Tuesday, I wrote up my tidbits column. This was
four days before the horrific events at Santa Fe High
School. Looking back, the topic of that tidbits does
not seem right to include in this issue. Therefore I
have decided to push that column to next Wednesday’s
issue, and will spend this column just airing my
thoughts.
I’d like to first ask you all to excuse this column if it
seems too passionate or doesn’t read as well as the
others do. I’m writing it on a time crunch, yes, but I am
also writing it with a lot of thoughts in my mind. And,
quite frankly, I am not paying much attention to making
sure it sounds perfect.
I spent a good part of the weekend thinking about
the students and faculty of Santa Fe High School. I
also spent a good part of the weekend thinking about
the families of the victims, the first responders, the
police officers and anyone who swooped down upon
Santa Fe to offer their support and assistance. And
I thought about the entire Santa Fe community, who
now have to deal with the aftermath of this terrible
event. And, all while thinking, my heart was hurting.
My heart hurt for the ones who lost their lives. The
majority of the victims were children. Children who
had their entire lives ahead of them. Children with
hopes, dreams and goals. These children were probably
making plans for the summer, thinking about
what they were going to wear for prom and stressing
over their final set of exams. And all of this was just
taken away from them, through no fault of their own.
And my heart hurt for the survivors, who not only experienced
this tragedy, but also lost their loved ones.
Parents lost their child, siblings lost their brother or
sister and friends lost friends.
And I am tired. But not only that. I feel so many
emotions, that it’s difficult to separate them. It’s difficult
to pinpoint where one emotion stops and the other
starts. I start by feeling incredible sadness, which
then turns into rage and then into this state of hopelessness.
I feel sadness, of course, for the victims of
any shooting, followed by rage that we continue to
allow this to happen without actually doing anything,
and then hopelessness that nothing will ever change.
Every time a shooting tragedy occurs—be it at a
school, club, movie theater or elsewhere—our immediate
response is to send out ‘thoughts and prayers.’
Don’t get me wrong, I believe very strongly in the
power of prayer. I pray twice a day, in fact. However,
simply praying is NOT ENOUGH. I think we have
seen enough of these tragedies to understand this.
We need to ACT. We need to DO SOMETHING. We
sent out thoughts and prayers after the shooting at
Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida.
We had marches and walkouts across the country.
But, here we are, a few months later, with another
school shooting. And why is this? Because no one
listens. We can pray all we want. We can organize all
the rallies and marches and walkouts we want. But,
what good will it do, if the people making the laws,
don’t want to do anything? And yes, I know individual
states have passed laws, but we need to do something
AS A NATION. I am not about to get into an
argument about gun control. I understand that criminals
will get their hands on guns regardless of the
laws—but that means we don’t make any laws at all?
NO. This is a bad comparison but that’s like saying
“no one follows the speed limit, so let’s just not have
them.” I understand that there are responsible gun
owners who would never harm another person. I understand
that the second amendment is right there in
the Constitution. I understand that people who own
guns want them for their protection. But, can’t we all
agree that we need changes? How many more innocent
people have to die before we, as a nation, wake
up and TAKE ACTION? Why is it, that I have reached
a point where—when I hear about another shooting—
my first thought is “another one”? My initial reaction
isn’t even shock anymore. My initial reaction is just a
numb feeling. The sadness and anger and hopelessness
doesn’t even come until later. And, right after the
Santa Fe High School shooting occurred, I went on to
Twitter to see what people were saying. And a student,
who was interviewed, said “it’s been happening
everywhere. I’ve always kind of felt like eventually it
was going to happen here too.” This is the reality facing
our students. This has been happening so often,
at schools all around the country, that they have just
started to expect and anticipate it as a way of life. This
is NOT what high school students, or any students, or
any person should be worrying about. Our students
should NOT be going to school and worrying about if
they will make it home that afternoon. The only thing
young people should be worrying about are completing
assignments, passing tests, getting into a good
college—you know, normal school things.
And I said I wasn’t going to talk about gun control,
but the more I write, the more filled with rage I am.
So here we go. If you don’t support gun control, that
is your opinion and you are entitled to it. I am not
going to try and change your opinion but this is my
column so I will say my opinion. And here it is: people
say it’s a people problem. People say that “guns don’t
kill people, people kill people.” But it would be a lot
harder for a person to kill someone without a gun.
People cite the second amendment. But is that really
more important than a person’s life? People say
that other objects—cars, knives, etc.—can also kill
people. Understandable, but I also have a response
to that. A bomb can do more damage than a gun, yes,
but they are not so easily available. And a gun can do
way more damage than a knife can. And don’t even
give me that car argument. The sole purpose of a car is
for transportation, not killing. The sole purpose of a gun is
to kill. And you can say we have laws and background
checks and age requirements to purchase guns.
But we also have gun shows and other loopholes that
make it easy for people who shouldn’t have guns to get a
hold of them. And here’s the thing: if you are a gun owner,
NO ONE IS ASKING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR GUNS.
I know you want it for safety. I know that “a good guy with a
gun can stop a bad guy with a gun”. I know, understand and
recognize all that. All I want is to keep these guns out of
the hands of bad people. Because I am tired of seeing innocent
people die. People can blame everything in the book—bullying,
video games, parenting, etc.—but other countries have all of that and
they do not have shootings at the extent that we do. In fact, I am tired of
people saying that students should have been nicer
to people who end up shooting schools, because that
sounds like we are blaming the victims. I agree that
we should all treat each other with kindness, but let
me just say this: I was bullied. I was bullied nonstop
for a year and a half. And not once did I ever think of
committing such an atrocious and unforgivable act.
Furthermore, if you don’t want to accept there is a
gun problem. If you stand firm on your belief about
gun control and don’t support it or don’t agree we
need it. If you truly believe it’s a people problem—
then we need to take action towards that. We need
to stop allowing guns to fall in the hands of people
who should not have them. We need to start a conversation
about mental health. We need to make it
easier for people, who are struggling, to talk about
their problems. And we need to pay more attention to
the people around us, and seek out help for anyone
we feel may need it.
You may disagree with a lot of what I wrote here. But
I hope you agree that something needs to change. I
hope that we can stop talking, stop arguing and take
action. The time is now. No, the time was years ago.
And because this was a school shooting, I use this
when I say: we have failed our children. Every time
a shooting occurs and we spend a few days talking,
but never take action, we are giving them the impression
that they don’t matter. And I know that is false.
I know that everyone who reads this paper cares. I
know you do. So why can’t we show that? Let’s tell
our politicians that we want change. If you believe
in gun control, tell them that. And if you don’t, then
tell them changes you propose. Let’s just PLEASE
do something. I’m fed up and tired of seeing more
people die.
I send out all my condolences to everyone affected
by the tragedy at Santa Fe High School. I stand with
you. And I will do everything I can to make sure something
like this doesn’t happen again. And I am sorry.