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T-SHIRTS TELL IT LIKE IT IS

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It’s been a while since I’ve done a column on funny T-shirts. Fortunately, a lot of new ones have appeared on the scene, and I hope the following examples entertain you as much as they did me.
I’ll start with one of my favorites. It reads: “RETIRED. One owner. High mileage. Needs bodywork.” Now there is truth on a T-shirt. And and here’s one that will be perfect for our July 4 celebration: “May the 4th be with you!” As a serious fan of Star Wars, I can see myself wearing this proudly.
The next few shirts are about drinking wine. I think this first one is especially funny: “Does wine count as a serving of fruit?” Isn’t that a great concept? Wine could be a health food. Just wait – there’ll probably be a report out any day now saying this is true. And for you avid readers, here’s your shirt: “ I just want to sip my wine and read my book.” Now that’s an interesting philosophy of life.
If you’re a beer drinker, don’t feel left out. This one’s for you: “ I would give up beer but I am not a QUITTER!” Or consider this one: “PUBS – the official sun block of Ireland!” (Think about that one for a minute.)
But my favorite category of T-shirts is the off-the-wall truly weird one. Here’s a perfect example: “The fact that there’s a highway to Hell and only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.” That sentiment certainly gives you something to think about. Another shirt whose message really resonated with me said: “ I know the voices aren’t real, but they have some great ideas.” And another sentiment expressed on a shirt says, “Sometimes I pretend to be NORMAL, but it gets boring. So I go back to being ME.” But the best one of all is this one: “My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.”
Finally (I saved the best for last!) is my idea of off-the-wall weird but funny: “People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.”
That’s probably a good place to end this column.

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