CRISS CROSS APPLESAUCE

By: Susan Wilson, Principle
Cell phones, iPads, iWatches, tablets, laptops, game systems, DVR, and the list of modern technological devices can go on and on. All of them serve an important purpose and help to make things at work and home easier on everyone. However, all too often, these devices are used to keep young children and/or their parents occupied. Instead of parents playing with their children, the children and their parents are playing with electronic devices. I can’t even count the number of times this past year that parents walked their child into school while talking or texting on their phones and left their child at the classroom door with barely a ‘good bye”. Many came after school to pick up their anxiously awaiting child while talking on their cell phone and didn’t even say “hello” to their child after not seeing them all day. They simply grabbed their child’s hand and walked out of the building without missing any part of their phone conversation. When I go out to eat at restaurants, I see entire families with each head bent down looking at a cell phone or tablet, including the children. There is no communication at these meals. Adults are not talking with their children, and their children are not engaging in meaningful conversation with their family members. This even happens at times when parents come to school to eat lunch with their child. Instead of spending quality time together, the parent spends the entire lunch time on their cell phone. They might take a quick “selfie” of themselves and their child to post on social media, but they are missing the point of eating lunch and spending quality time with their child. Go to a park, walk through the mall, or go to the grocery store and you will find parents on their phones not engaging with their children who are many times playing on tablets. As parents, many of us have become too reliant on our cell phones; addicted to the immediacy of finding information on the internet, reading the latest news on social media, or contacting friends and family. It is too tempting to have such easy access to all of these things at the touch of our phones. It is too easy to hand a child a tablet to keep them occupied. It takes intentional thought and will power to keep the tablet from your child, ignore the text messages and phone calls coming in, not read social media, or surf the web when you are spending time with them. Children thrive on two way conversations with others around them; especially adults. They need to hear two way conversations in order to gain appropriate oral language skills and an extended vocabulary. Before cell phones, the internet, and tablets, families actually spent time together and had conversations with each other during meals, at the mall, and at the grocery store. Adults actually had conversations with each other around their children. This is how children picked up their oral language skills and vocabulary. Long gone are the days when parents carried their infants in their arms, held them close, and talked to them; singing songs and reciting nursery rhymes. Infants are now many times put into carriers while parents spend time on their cell phones. Before the age of technology, most children entered school with good oral speaking skills and a large vocabulary. However, now each school year we see an increasing number of students who are non-verbal or who cannot be understood by others due to speech concerns. I whole heartedly believe this is due to the world of technology that we live in today. If you are the parent of a young child, I urge you to take time each day to give your child your undivided, whole, and complete attention. Turn your phone on silent, take off your iWatch, put the tablets away, and turn the TV off. Just spend time playing and pretending together. Build a block castle, dress up dolls to go to a fancy dance, have a tea party, throw a football, or play a game of basketball. You might find that you enjoy this time as much as your child. During these times engage them in talking about what you are playing, what they are thinking about, talk about their friends, talk about their likes and dislikes. This is an excellent way to keep up with your child and actually know them as they grow up. They will also have the opportunity to develop good speaking skills in the process. Trust me. Children grow up in the blink of an eye. We all think it won’t happen. We think we have forever before they will be grown. We think they will learn what they need to know to be ready for school on their own or by playing apps on a tablet. The truth is, many precious moments are lost because of these types of thoughts. Minutes turn into hours. Hours turn into days. Days turn into years. Before you know it, your child will be graduating from high school and moving out on their own, and you will be looking back wondering where the time went. Don’t regret not having spent enough quality one on-one alone time with your child. As they walk across that stage to receive their diploma, be able to think back on all the great memories you made while they were still little. I speak from experience when I say that your children will continue to grow up, but they too will never forget the special moments and conversations you shared together when they were little.