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NOW THAT I’M 25…

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Last Saturday, the 27th of January, I celebrated my 25th
birthday. I started the celebrations by having lunch with
a few friends and then continued on into the evening
with a dinner and dessert with my family. I took phone
calls throughout the day, responded to social media
messages, answered texts and did not do anything productive
whatsoever. All in all, it was an excellent day.
I remember ten years ago, when my oldest cousin
turned 25. I called to wish him and told him “you’re 25
now, that’s halfway to 50, so your life is basically downhill
from now on.” Looking back on that statement, and
seeing how my life is going now (as a 25-year-old), I
realize that I could not have been more wrong. Yes,
adulthood is difficult, frustrating and downright scary
at some points. But it is also rewarding, fulfilling and
extremely magnificent and amazing. When I was a
teenager, I thought that becoming an adult meant the
end of your life. Not in the literal sense, but in the sense
that you could no longer enjoy life. From my teenage
viewpoint, adulthood was nothing to be excited for.
Adults were too worried about taxes, bills, their future,
their family’s future, the future of the country, and so
forth to appreciate the little things in life—like the color
of the sky during a sunset or the sound of rain as it hit
the window. Adults were never able to enjoy their life,
because there was no time for a vacation. In schools
we were allowed one to two week breaks every so
often, to rest and recharge, but adults did not get this.
For adults , all one’s life consisted of was a neverending
cycle of going to work, going home, going to
sleep and then doing it all over again the next day. As
a youngster, I was not looking forward to adulthood,
which led to my comment “it’s all downhill from here.”
However, all of the above mentioned were my
assumptions based on a young person’s viewpoint.
Now that I have joined the world of adulthood and have
had the opportunity to experience it fully, I know that
it is not nearly as difficult and “horrible” as I had made
it out to be. As adults, we may not get planned school
holidays, but this means we can take vacations at any
time. I mean, all we have to do is ask our boss(es) for
the time off and that’s that. Sure, as adults we have to
worry about a lot more than we did as youngsters, but
the concern is just proof that we care about the wellbeing
of our loved ones, the people around us and the
world we live in. And, though I can’t speak for others,
I try to take time out of each day and just appreciate
everything I have.
In the past couple of years I have learnt three huge
life lessons. One of these is that worrying gets you
nowhere. This is something that I am still working on
because I am the type of person who stresses over
everything—things in my control and things outside of
my control. But a quote from a movie that said “worrying
means you suffer twice” really had an effect on my
mind. And my goal for 2018 is to stop worrying about
things and have faith that everything will work out for
the best. Furthermore, my goal for this year is also to
accept that, if I don’t get something that I really wanted
then it wasn’t meant for me in the first place.
Another life lesson I have learnt is that you are going
to be surrounded by people, all of whom have their own
opinions on topics and it’s not necessary that these
people’s opinions will match yours. This doesn’t mean
that you have to attempt to get that person to change
their opinion, and nor do you have to change yours. As
adults we are capable of having different opinions—
whether they are related to politics or otherwise—and
still getting along just fine. As adults, we have the maturity
to listen to people whose opinions differ from ours,
and have discussions on these topics. But, as adults,
we also have the ability to know when these conversations
should not be held, as we should not and cannot
let certain topics ruin our relationships. For example,
I will never talk about politics with family and friends
whose political opinions differ from mine. I care about
them too much to let something like that ruin our bond.
The last life lesson I have learned in the past couple
of years has been that the most difficult thing to do is
stay true to who you are and what you want, but it’s
also the most rewarding. For example, I have family
members who care way too much about the fact that I
am 25 and not yet in a relationship. I have never been
in one because I haven’t wanted to and honestly I don’t
have the time. Of course I do want to get married eventually
and I know that, when the time is right, I’ll meet
that one person who’s perfect for me and we will get
married. I am lucky in that my parents aren’t putting any
pressure on me whatsoever, but coming from a large
family, I have had to deal with the “will you start looking
for a husband” comments for the past five years. And
since arranged marriage is very common in my culture,
people keep asking my mom “have you started looking
for a husband for Trishna?” or telling her “I know this
really great guy for Trishna.” It’s gotten to the point that
I try not to even speak to these people, because their
comments have put ideas about myself in my head that
shouldn’t be there. I mean, it seems to me that those
people don’t care about any of my successes at work
or school. To them, all of this is meaningless because
I am single. And if this isn’t the case then maybe they
should stop asking me, every time we meet, about marriage.
It’ll happen when it’s meant to and until then I
will live my life the way I want to because it’s my life. I
am happy with where I am in life and I am happy with
how things are going. I have a great future ahead of me
and eventually everything will fall into place and when it
does—whether it’s related to marriage or otherwise—I
will be able to go to every person that was ever doubtful
and say “see? It happened now because it was meant
to happen now.”
Life is a wondrous thing full of possibilities. We should
live each day as it comes and be thankful for what we
have. If we are constantly focused on what will happen
tomorrow, we won’t be able to enjoy today. So as
I end this week’s tidbits I invite all of you to just take a
few minutes to live in the moment and be grateful that
you are alive to experience everything this world has to
offer.

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